


light years

by hachimitsuto



Category: GOT7, Miss A, TWICE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Siblings, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:50:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9233894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hachimitsuto/pseuds/hachimitsuto
Summary: First loves don't come easy.





	

*

 

 

 

Nayeon comes home that evening with a plan to mop over the maths exam she just bombed that morning by conquering the couch and remote control the whole day, preferably with a tub of ice-cream in the other hand or any food equivalent to that. But her plan goes up in smokes when she finds her brother sitting at the very couch, holding the very remote control, and his best friend next to him.

 

She almost drops her backpack, only saved because it gets caught on her wrist. Jaebum takes no heed in that, unsurprisingly, and proceeds to ignore her arrival with his eyes glued to the television screen. Jinyoung, however, looks up and flashes a smile that causes heart palpitations. “Welcome back,” he says, voice like butter.

 

“Oh, h-hello,” she returns his greeting, voice like scorched rice. Why can’t she be a graceful lady for once? “What are you doing here?”

 

“Jaebum and I are doing our homework together, since it’s a pair work, so I’ll be here the whole evening. I hope you don’t mind?” he explains, raising his brows slightly at the final word. Is he expecting her to answer?

 

“Don’t worry, she doesn’t mind,” Jaebum interrupts, only tearing his eyes away from the screen to give her a smirk. She wants to throw her bag at him, or anything within reach. He then adds, “Hey, ugly, we’re hungry.”

 

On normal occasions, Nayeon would either ignore him, especially after his last remark and what he called her, or respond with a simple _make your own food_ , but today she remains civilized and heads straight to the kitchen without even changing out of her uniform. “We have leftover _dwenjang jjigae_ from last night’s dinner. Is it enough?” she asks as she looks for more things in the refrigerator.

 

“Yeah. Jinyoung doesn’t eat a lot. Fry some eggs and that will do.”

 

If she could have it her way, the eggs would already be making their way towards her brother’s face, but again she remains civilized. She thinks of happy thoughts like _ddeokbeokki_ and the boy in her living room right now, and takes out the bowl and three eggs. There’s no rice in the cooker, but thank god they have several packets of instant rice stocked for emergencies. She chucks the _jjigae_ into the microwave and presses several buttons before it starts revolving around, then she takes out a clean bowl from the cabinet, cracks the eggs and focuses her anger on beating them.

 

“Need help?”

 

Nayeon gets a series of heart attacks from how close the voice is, when she realizes how close the person which the voice belongs to is standing from her, and who the person is. Her hand is frozen and her anger, just like that, has disappeared. She drops her mouth. “What?”

 

Jinyoung, completely unaware of the war going on inside her right now, only smiles wider and repeats his question. “I’m just wondering if you need help with anything?”

 

“Ah, yeah, I mean no. I don’t need anything, no. Wait, I mean—” She doesn’t know what she’s saying, and he’s blinking at her, probably thinking how silly she is. She hangs her head low and wishes the earth would open up and swallow her right there and then. She shouldn’t be allowed to open her mouth ever, especially in front of Jinyoung who is now laughing at her, looking so amused. This is not what she planned.

 

Right then, her brother once again interrupts, yelling from where he’s still sitting unmoved. “Jinyoung, if you keep bothering her, her food will go from just bearable to inedible.”

 

Maybe she should throw some eggs at Jaebum after all. She’s deciding between that and suffocating him to death when he sleeps tonight when Jinyoung says her name as he walks over to the microwave to take out the _jjigae_. “Smells good,” he comments.

 

“Mum made it,” Nayeon confesses. Last night she was too busy crying over math to come out of her room to help prepare dinner. Not that she helps that much anyway, but Jinyoung doesn’t have to know such details.

 

She manages to get him to leave the kitchen with an excuse that she’s not used to having anyone around, but really she just needs to focus, afraid that her egg rolls will end up as scrambled eggs instead. Thankfully, her attempt ends in success and the egg rolls turn out almost as pretty as she hoped (the sides are a tad burnt, she hopes Jaebum wouldn’t point that out even though she’s sure he would).

 

Blessed with the sense of smell better than that of a dog, the said person appears right away at the dining table just as she’s set the rice bowls. “My little sister has grown up well,” he offers with a pat on the top of her head, and she tries her best not to roll her eyes or slap his hand away because Jinyoung has approached them too. “Come sit. Don’t worry, her cooking may not be the best in the world but at least she wouldn’t dare to poison us.” Jaebum tells him, then glances back at her and quirks an eyebrow.

 

Nayeon looks at her almost-perfect egg rolls and imagines them on his face. Thank Jinyoung for flashing her a smile - her anger disappears faster than a blink of eye. “Thank you. I’ll eat well, Nayeonie,” he says. Honestly what did his brother do in his past life to be able to befriend someone like Jinyoung?

 

 

 

 

“I mean,” she begins, face contorted a little too dramatically as she tries to justify her case. “It doesn’t make sense.”

 

“What?” Seungcheol asks, only half-interested as he has most of his attention focused on his game. It’s a free period, supposed to be the Korean Language class but their teacher is out for an emergency leave. The word “self-study” is emblazoned on the blackboard in front but almost everyone, including them, is doing anything but studying.

 

“Have you even been listening?” Nayeon shoots back, annoyed, but quickly resumes her talk. “That someone like my satan of a brother could befriend such an angel is what doesn’t make sense.”

 

“Oh, like the fact we’re friends? I guess you two are truly siblings.”

 

She gives him a good smack on the head that almost caused him to lose grip of his phone. He finally pauses his game and looks up with a scowl. “Watch it!” he grunts.

 

“Reminds me again why I’m friends with you?”

 

He pretends to give it a deep thought. “Well, because no one else wants to listen to you obsessing over your brother’s best friend?”

 

“I don’t obsess over him!” she rebukes defensively.

 

“Yeah? Tell me again about how you purposely leave the house early every morning then wait at the corner near his house and pretend to run into him by chance when he gets out just so you can walk to school together?” he recounts, looking almost pleased with himself. “Such dedication. If you were as dedicated in your studies, I think even Einstein would bow down to you.”

 

Nayeon picks up a book and threatens to throw it at him, but he appears far from being apologetic, she instead kicks his leg under the leg. “You’re talking as if you’re the smartest in this class.”

 

“At least I didn’t purposely fail my English test so I could spend the summer having Park Jinyoung tutor me.”

 

“I didn’t do it on purpose, okay! And besides it was worth it,” she grins at the last sentence.

 

Going back to his game, Seungcheol makes a face and mumbles under his breath, “Obsessed.”

 

 

 

 

“Not going for lunch?” Jinyoung questions,glancing back, when he realizes his friend isn’t coming with him.

 

Jaebum shakes his head. “Nah, Suji’s bringing lunch she made,” he replies half-nonchalantly without even meeting Jinyoung’s gaze.

 

“Oh” is the only response the latter can manage. Jaebum is too immersed in writing the essay that needs to be submitted later to notice the way Jinyoung’s shoulders drop. “I’ll be going then,” he manages after a pause, then turns on his heel only to see Suji from a distance walking towards him.

 

“Hi Jinyoung,” greets her with a candy smile.

 

“Hello,” he replies, but thinking that might have sounded a little too stiff, he adds, “Having lunch with Jaebum?”

 

“Yeah. Why don’t you join us? I’m pretty sure it’s enough for the three of us.”

 

As much as he would love to spend time with her, Jinyoung turns down her offer. “It’s alright. I heard there’s tonkatsu for lunch today,” he lies. The school cafeteria never served tonkatsu before.

 

Fortunately for him, Suji buys his lie. “Well, if you say so.” She shrugs, perhaps looking slightly dejected, but he doesn’t keep his hopes high. “See you around, then, Jinyoung.”

 

He nods and attempts a smile. It still feels too stiff, but she’s already turned away.

 

 

 

 

Nayeon is standing on tiptoe behind a throng of students who are flocking around the bread stall when she feels a tap on her shoulder. She glances back, and her eyes widen when she learns it’s Jinyoung.

 

“Is that going to be your lunch?” he asks, pointing at the direction of the breads in their respective trays.

 

“Yeah.” She nods, omitting the fact that she’s not getting just one, or even two of them. She’s also getting several for Seungcheol whom she lost rock-paper-scissor with earlier. “Why?”

 

“Nothing.” Jinyoung shakes his head, smiling a little. “I’m actually looking for a friend to eat lunch with. Don’t feel like eating alone,” he confesses after a pause. “Do you want to be that friend?”

 

Her brows form a line, puzzled. “Where’s Jaebum oppa?”

 

“With Suji,” he answers simply. It seems that he tries to be nonchalant about it, but Nayeon knows him enough.

 

Her heart sinks. “I’ll eat with you,” she tells him.

 

“Really?”

 

“Sure,” she returns, smiling. On normal occasions, she would have already celebrated this and steal quick texts to Seungcheol to brag, _having lunch with Jinyoung oppa,_ _to hell with your breads_. But she’s not even thinking of any of that. The only thing that is occupying her mind right now is the distant look on Jinyoung’s face as they stand in line to get their meals, as though he’s only physically here but not mentally.

 

She knows where his mind is.

 

 

 

 

“Let me help you with that.”

 

Before Jinyoung can turn around, there’s already a pair of hands reaching out to take half the stack of books he’s carrying from him. “You don’t have to,” he murmurs.

 

“It’s alright. I’m heading to the teachers’ room too.” Suji flashes a smile that’s too friendly and too familiar as they start to walk together. He looks away. “Why isn’t Jaebum helping you?”

 

“He ran off as soon as the bell rang. Said he needs to bully the first years into shape.” Jinyoung attempts a nonchalant shrug.

 

She chuckles. “He needs to stop abusing his power.”

 

“Good thing I’m not in his team.”

 

“He would’ve cut you some slack.”

 

“Don’t think so. Jongin complains about his everyday. Behind his back of course,” he adds the last part after a brief pause, and Suji chuckles again. “He said he even gets nightmares about Jaebum sometimes.”

 

Suji starts laughing. It feels nice, walking with her alone and hearing her laugh. It’s not something he’s not used to, but he realizes it’s been a while since the last time they were together like this. Without Jaebum. He steals a quick look at her and suddenly something inside him aches. “But Jongin’s different. You’re not him,” she then says.

 

Their eyes meet. Hers seem playful, with her smile intact. Jinyoung lets out a light chuckle, not too dry, and nudges her on the shoulder with his own. “Don’t turn this into some slice-of-life youth drama.”

 

They arrive at the teachers’ room, and Suji returns the books to him before going off to talk to her homeroom teacher. Mrs Ahn thanks them both then tells him he can leave now. He bows and takes his leave, but lingers outside the door making up excuses in his head. Before he can decide on one, however, Suji steps out and grins at him as though she knows all along he would be waiting. “Let’s go home.”

 

 

 

 

“Good morning!”

 

When he turns around, he is greeted by the sunny bunny-teethed grin he’s grown used to seeing almost every morning. “Morning, Nayeonie.” Jinyoung smiles back. “So bright even this early, as always. Are you ever not in a good mood?”

 

“Hmm,” she pretends to ponder over his question. “When Jaebum oppa bullies me?”

 

Her reply makes Jinyoung chuckle, and in return his laugh makes her smile wider. Nayeon forces herself awake and drags herself out of bed so early every morning, but seeing Jinyoung’s smile and knowing she’s the reason for it is definitely worth every effort.

 

“Ah, you two make me jealous sometimes. I wish I have a sibling too,” he remarks, facing ahead.

 

“If you had a younger sister, would you bully her like how my brother does me?” she asks.

 

“Well, maybe?” he answers, shrugging, and she laughs because she knows it’s a lie. Jinyoung has the kindest soul, and she doubts she will ever meet anyone nicer than him. "But really, Jaebum talks a lot about you. You talk a lot about him too. It makes me think it must be nice to have someone around, even if all you do everyday is bicker. My house is too quiet.”

 

Nayeon makes a disgusted face and shakes her head. “Having a brother like Jaebum oppa, you have no idea how much I want to be an only child.”

 

“The grass is always greener on the other side,” he comments, chuckling again.

 

She was starting to feel silly for whining about her brother to him like a child, but when his smile reappears, she’s instantly happy again. “So what did you do yesterday after you went home?”

 

He starts to talk about his homework and a documentary on Cambodian ruins that he watched last night, none that she has interest in, but she listens to him more enthusiastically than she does her favourite songs.

 

 

 

 

Nayeon is almost dozing off when someone taps her on the shoulder. “Oh, Jisoo. What is it?” she asks her class representative, who also sits in front her, while rubbing her eyes.

 

“There’s someone looking for you,” he says, pointing at the door.  

 

She glances at that direction, and to her surprise, finds Suji there. Her eyes widen and she immediately leaps to her feet.

 

“Is something wrong?” she asks, confused and also worried.

 

But Suji just smiles and slips something into her hand; a 10000 won note. Nayeon stares at the older girl in confusion. “It’s your lunch money. Jaebum said you forgot it this morning so he asked me to pass it to you,” Suji explains.

 

“Ah, thank you, really. He could’ve come himself instead of making you do it. Should’ve,” Nayeon replies, feeling bad.

 

“Apparently it’s uncool to go find your sister at school because of something she carelessly left behind.” Suji laughs as she says that, while Nayeon can’t help rolling her eyes.

 

“He’s not even cool to begin with.”

 

“Totally not.”

 

They laugh together for a while, and soon the first bell rings. The latecomers are just starting their last minute sprint to their respective class now, including Seungcheol who’s just arrived with his mouth full, and his shoes bag in one hand. He eyes the two of them suspiciously as he passes them.

 

“Well I’d better run now,” Suji tells her, and without another word she dashes off.

 

Nayeon returns to her seat, and right behind it Seungcheol is smirking at her. His breakfast has been digested just fine. She rolls her eyes for the second time this morning. “You guys look friendly,” he comments.

 

“We have no reason to be enemies.” She shrugs, not meeting his eyes.

 

“She doesn’t, but you do.”

 

This time she does meet his eyes, just so she can smack him with her book. “Shut up.” She glares, but that doesn’t stop him from laughing. “She’s… cool.”

 

“I see,” he says, narrowing his eyes at her.

 

“Really,” she mumbles in return, staring down at her book.

 

He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, but then their homeroom teacher walks in, so Nayeon turns back to face the front, and Seungcheol never brings it up again.

 

 

 

 

“Practice?” Jinyoung asks as Jaebum gathers his books and stationeries before shoving all of them into his bag.

 

“Yeah. We got a game coming up soon. You wanna come watch?”

 

“The practice?” The latter raises his brows.

 

Jaebum chuckles, giving his friend a light smack on the head with one of the pencils he’s still holding. “The game, you blockhead. It’s in Anyang, next weekend, so we can go get go something to eat afterwards. You can come with us by bus. I’ll let the coach know and save you a seat.”

 

Frowning, Jinyoung shoots a judging look. “Why does it sound like you’re asking me out on a date?”

 

“You can just say no if you don’t want. I can handle rejection, you know,” Jaebum shoots back. He feigns annoyance, but the corners of his lips are twitching.

 

Jinyoung smiles, and keeps silent for a minute before asking, “Is Suji coming?”

 

“I didn’t ask her, but I don’t think she’s gonna come even if I ask. Why?”

 

He doesn’t know why he asked either. As supportive as Suji is, she doesn’t actually come to all of Jaebum’s games even if it’s a home game, unless she has free time and is up for it. In the end he settles with: “So I know I’m not your second option.”

 

“Since when did you become so petty?”

 

Jinyoung starts laughing and gets to his feet. Just in time, Suji appears at the back door. “What are you guys laughing at?” she asks. She comes in when she sees that most of their classmates have left.

 

It’s Jaebum who replies. “Just talking about you.”

 

“Me? About what?”

 

“The fact that you talk in your sleep,” Jinyoung answers without meaning too, but Jaebum flashes an approving grin.

 

“Liar! That’s not a fact. We’ve never slept together. Wait, I don’t mean—” Her pupils enlarged as she glances at Jaebum, flustered. A tinge of pink colours her cheeks.

 

“It’s hard to not misunderstand but I understand.” He nods with closed eyes.

 

“Thank you,” she smiles, laughing a little, then turns to Jinyoung all serious again. “Anyway, it never happened.”

 

“Yes it did. Summer when we were 11 when you fell asleep in my room preparing for my birthday surprise while I was out with my parents.”

 

She clicks her tongue, looking like she wants to protest but knows he’s right. Suji hates to be proven wrong, so she brings up other things, like _at least I did something, unlike you_. Crossing his arms, Jinyoung opens his mouth to say something, but he remembers Jaebum is here and that he wasn’t there in their childhood. He closes his mouth.

 

“You guys are making me jealous,” Jaebum says wistfully, shoving Jinyoung on the arm but his eyes are on her. There’s a hint of sadness in his tone, a trace of longingness in his gaze.

 

Jinyoung only smiles, yet as they begin to make their way out of the class, then go separate ways while Jaebum heads to the gymnasium, a thought continues to circle around his mind, _who’s the one should be jealous really?_

 

 

 

 

After dinner, Nayeon and Jaebum sit at both ends of the couch watching TV, while their mother is preparing another side dish for their father who hasn’t come home from work. Out of the corner of her eyes, Nayeon can see that her brother’s attention isn’t on TV, despite fighting with her earlier for the remote, but instead on his phone. His fingers make quick movements as he replies incoming texts. There’s a smile tugging at his lips. _Suji_.

 

“Oppa,” she calls. He gives no response even when she tries again, so she uses her left toe to poke at him.

 

It works, and he casts an irritated glare. “What?”

 

She suddenly hesitates. “Why…”

 

“Why what?” He grows impatient.

 

“Why— what do you like about her?” she blurts out.

 

“Who?”

 

She eyes him cautiously before answering. “Suji unni.”

 

He shoots an incredulous look at her like she has just asked him the oddest question he’s ever heard. But then he faces front again, back straightened, that look disappears and he’s all serious. “What’s there not to like?”

 

Nayeon just stares at him, her brother who shows no affection and only cracks a smile that makes the corners of his eyes crinkle when he’s pulling a joke on her; a stranger to her now. Her gaze falls to her lap. “Would you still like her if back then you found out that someone say else likes her too?”

 

“That depends.”

 

“What if it was a friend?” She decides to push her luck. “What if it was Jinyoung oppa?”

 

As though he’s just realized that he’s having this conversation with her, he snorts and relaxes back into the couch. “Why are you asking all these funny questions? Go do your homework” he replies instead.

 

She glances at the TV, then back at him. His eyes are on it now, but the program is already over.

 

 

 

 

On his way back, Jinyoung finds Nayeon crouched down by the wall just outside the convenience store near their school. He enters the store without her noticing, buys a strawberry milk and a can of coffee, then goes back outside and heads to where she is.

 

“Here,” he says, holding out the strawberry milk to her. She’s clearly startled to see him. With a rather restrained smile, she takes the milk and thanks him. “Something wrong?” he asks, taking a seat next to her while opening his can.

 

It’s already over an hour since school ended. He stayed back to do some tasks for his homeroom teacher. From what he knows and heard from Jaebum, Nayeon usually goes straight home, unless she wants to hang out with her friends. Running into her here alone at this time is rare.

 

Pushing the straw to penetrate the thin metal lid, she takes a long drag, slowly and quietly, so unlike her usual self. She seems hesitant to answer him, so he doesn’t push, and just wait while he takes small sips of his coffee. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he tells her.

 

She takes another glance at him, and exhales a sigh. “I got the result for my maths exam today,” she begins meekly, hiding her face behind her hair. “It’s not good.”

 

Ah. He nods. “That bad?”

 

“Not really, but just not what what I hoped,” she answers.

 

Another sip. “Why don’t you ask Jaebum to help teach you? He’s good at maths.”

 

“I know, but he will laugh at me first then wouldn’t stop talking about it for the rest of my life.”

 

Jinyoung laughs lightly. “He would do that,” he agrees. “Then do you want me to teach you?”

 

She turns to him, eyes widening in surprise. “But you already helped me with English before,” she says.

 

“So?”

 

“I mean, that would inconvenience you.”

 

“Why would that inconvenience me? I won’t need to revise for my exam later.”

 

She looks at him like she’s having a hard time believing him. He flashes a smile to reassure her. “Really?”

 

“Really.” He nods.

 

A smile finally appears on her face, instantly revealing her bunny teeth that she used to hate. He remembers she used to smile a tight lipped smile at everyone back then just to hide her teeth. “I’ll be nice to you for the rest of my life,” she tells him.

 

He laughs again. “That’s alright. Just make me those nice croquettes you made once the next time I come over.”

 

Creases form in her forehead. “Jaebum oppa said they were horrible.”

 

“He was just being mean.”

 

She smiles again. They finish their drinks in silence, then he walks her home.

 

 

 

 

 

Without warning, he feels a hand pulling his earphones out. Jinyoung immediately turns around, only to find Jaebum grinning at him with two fingers up in salute. “Yo!” the latter greets.

 

“Can’t you at least knock?” Jinyoung asks as his friend drops his bag to the floor and plops down on the bed a little too comfortably.

 

“I did, you deaf,” Jaebum replies, holding up the earphones to remind him.

 

“I should tell my mum to stop opening our door to you.”

 

“Go ahead. I know where you keep your spare key.”

 

Jinyoung snorts. Jaebum is still wearing his school uniform, unbuttoned over a white t-shirt, which means he came straight from practice. The former yanks his pillow away, causing him to protest. “Did you even shower?”

 

“Nope,” he answers too casually.

 

Jinyoung uses the same pillow to smack him on the face, but this time Jaebum laughs instead of protesting. “Why are you here?” he asks, turning back to his books on his study desk.

 

“Can’t I drop by to see my dear friend’s face?” He glances back with a terrorised face while Jaebum continues laughing for a moment. It fades soon after, and they’re left in silence. “Is that you and Suji?”

 

Jinyoung didn’t remember he’s temporarily stuck that photo on his wall until Jaebum points it out. He panics a little. It is simply there because he just came across it recently and hasn’t figured out where to keep it safe. It’s one of the very few photos of him with Suji they actually have taken over the years they’ve known each other. “I found it while cleaning my drawers the other day,” he admits.

 

“How old were you guys here?”

 

He looks at the photo. They were sitting next to each other on rocks by a beach, Suji was wearing a swimsuit, while he just wore a simple t-shirt and shorts. They used to go to the beach almost every summer, but he remembered that year in particular was when she was starting to feel strange about her changing body. They never went to the beach again after that. “10-ish… 11 I think? I forgot.”

 

Jaebum keeps his stare on the photo without another word, but Jinyoung can see the longing in his eyes. He only came along much later just before they started high school, when he and Jinyoung first became classmates in their previous school. He met Suji when she came by to borrow a book from Jinyoung, who wasn’t in the class at that time. Jaebum, who sat by the back door, let her borrow his instead.

 

There are days when Jinyoung would sit and wonder what would have happened if he had been in the class, or if Jaebum’s seat hadn’t been by the door. Of course Jaebum and Suji’s paths would have crossed anyway on another occasion, but would the outcome still be the same?

 

Jaebum only tears his gaze away after a long while. Looking at Jinyoung, he opens his mouth again. “Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been tutoring Nayeon?”

 

“You didn’t know?” Jinyoung asks, raising his brows, a little surprised that Jaebum’s hasn’t heard about it since it has been going on for a couple of weeks. “I assumed she would tell you.”

 

“Nah. Heard it from Suji.”

 

“Oh,” comes as his response, remembering the other day when Suji saw them at the library after school. “Why? Do you have a problem about that?”

 

“No,” Jaebum replies brusquely, which doesn’t sound very convincing. Jinyoung looks at him. “Well, if it’s not obvious enough, Nayeon has a thing for you.”

 

Jaebum is now sitting up. Their eyes meet briefly, then Jinyoung lowers his gaze as he nods. “Yeah, I kind of knew.”

 

“I mean, it’s not that it’s not okay. It’s cool. But then again she’s still my sister and you’re my friend,” Jaebum says. “Just that, I know you mean well, but if you don’t like her that way, then don’t lead her on. I just… don’t want to be in a position where I have to choose sides.”

 

Three years Jinyoung’s known Jaebum, and he rarely gets serious. Jinyoung isn’t really sure what exactly he’s supposed to do, or what he’s expected to do. He resorts to make the atmosphere lighter. From where he sits, he kicks Jaebum’s foot. “Did you come all the way to give this some sort of a stay-away-from-my-sister warning like in dramas?”

 

Jaebum’s eyes meet his, and the pillow flies and hits Jinyoung square in the face.

 

 

 

 

“You’re smiling to yourself,” Seungcheol comments.

 

He and Nayeon are working on their maths homework together. It was given out yesterday and is supposed to be completed by today, but she totally forgot about it while Seungcheol passed out early last night after an intense basketball practice session. There’s still some time left before the first bell, so they’re trying their best to get this done quickly.

 

“What?” Nayeon asks dumbly.

 

He uses his pencil to point at their books and then her face. “We’re doing maths and you’re not crying. In fact you’re actually smiling. Is the world ending?”

 

She laughs, which startles him more because he was preparing to defend his shins from her kick. “You know, doing maths is actually fun now that I know how to solve these problems,” she tells him.

 

“Amazing. What spell is Jinyoung using on you? You _hated_ maths. You once made a wish on your birthday for maths to disappear from the world.”

 

This time she does kick his shin, and he didn’t get to evade fast enough. “Don’t spread lies. I never hated maths or wished for such thing.”

 

She does mean it that she’s started to enjoy the subject more after Jinyoung has cleared up what she never understood before. Even now, doing her homework with Seungcheol, she can solve every question without much trouble by remember the methods she’s been taught.

 

“Do you really like it that much?” he asks now, voice no longer laced with tease.

 

“What? Maths?”

 

“Getting to spend time with him.”

 

“Ah.” Nayeon stops writing and casts a glance out the window. From their seats, they can see the wide field. It makes her happy whenever she gets to catch a glimpse of Jinyoung when the boys in his class play there during PE. She smiles. “I can’t even put it in words.”

 

Seungcheol chuckles, then resumes his work. “Good for you.”

 

 

 

 

“Nayeon!”

 

She glances around and scans the cafeteria to find the person who called her, and soon spots Suji at a table not too far away waving her hand. Sitting with her at the same table are Jaebum and Jinyoung. _Oh_.

 

“Come sit with us!” she offers when Nayeon approaches with her lunch tray.

 

“But—”

 

Before Nayeon can say anything more, Suji has already risen to her feet to drag her to the empty seat across of her and take her tray and set it down on the table. “Why did you call this ugly thing here? Let her go sit with her friends,” Jaebum says, giving a look of protest as he chews his rice.

 

“You just don’t want her here because it might put you at disadvantage,” Suji retaliates with a grin, and he just makes a face at her. “And stop calling her ugly! Nayeonie is the prettiest girl I know, okay.”

 

“I’m already at disadvantage here.”

 

Nayeon stares at them for a while in confusion before turning to Jinyoung who is sitting next to her. He flashes his usual friendly smile. Her cheeks turn a deeper shade of red. “Just one of their banters. It’s normal,” he explains briefly.

 

“Okay,” Suji then says, turning to her. “Would you side with your brother or with me?”

 

Nayeon is really still clueless about the situation, but after a glance at Jaebum, she settles with: “Anyone but him.”

 

Suji laughs and raises a hand to initiate a high five, and Nayeon grants it, beaming. She turns to Jinyoung afterwards. “You? Me or this idiotic friend of yours?”

 

“Friendly reminder, you happen to be dating this _idiotic_ friend of his,” Jaebum intercepts, but Suji just shoves him away.

 

“I…” Jinyoung begins, darting his eyes back and forth from his friend to the other. “Leave me out of this,” he announces diplomatically, but the two responds with a string of protests.

 

Nayeon watches this whole process before glancing sideways at Jinyoung. He has his gaze fixed on his half eaten bowl of rice, a restrained half smile on his face. In front of them, Suji and Jaebum continue their banter laughing, their surrounding blurred away. Her heart clenches.

 

 

 

 

Just before she exits the cafeteria, Suji comes and starts walking with her, sliding her hand comfortably around Nayeon’s arm.

 

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” she asks.

 

Startled by her question, Nayeon shakes her head instantly. “Of course not.”

 

“You’re just like your brother in this sense,” Suji remarks, chuckling. “You both are such bad liars.”

 

“Oppa lies to you?”

 

“Sometimes. Not the bad kinds though, like when he goes off to play games with the other boys. He’d tell me he has practice or homework,” she explains, laughing as she’s remembering it. “It’s funny because he actually sounds pretty convincing, like he’s practised it before. I wouldn’t be able to tell if I didn’t know how his voice tends to sound slightly nasal-ish when he lies.”

 

Nayeon laughs along. “I’m embarrassed to have him as my brother.”

 

“Boys are stupid, really. And they think they can fool us,” Suji says. They walk up the stairs that lead up to Nayeon’s class. Suji’s class is located at the opposite building. “Jinyoungie’s really dense, too, don’t you think?”

 

Nayeon doesn’t miss the affectionate suffix, but keeps her smile. “What do you mean?”

 

“How can he still not notice it when you look at him like that?”

 

It catches her by surprise. She stops at her tracks and blinks at Suji. “You know?”

 

“Of course I do.” The older girl smiles. “I’ve known Jinyoung for a long time. Somehow I’m always the first who notices when a girl likes him, but he never does. I really don’t know what goes on in his head sometimes.”

 

 _I do_ , Nayeon thinks.

 

“Don’t worry. This unni will support and help you. If you need anything, his most embarrassing childhood stories, even materials to blackmail him with, you can come to me anytime.”

 

She only smiles, unable to say anything else. Suji is beautiful inside and out. Standing next to her, Nayeon can’t help but feel extremely small. It’s no question why she’s liked by both boys. She can’t even compare.

 

"Are you okay?” Seungcheol asks when he finds Nayeon still standing outside the class later even after the bell has rung.

 

“No.” She shakes her head. Tears escape from her eyes before she can stop them. She looks at her friend who is now staring at her with a look of concern. “I don’t think I’m okay, Seungcheol.”

 

 

 

 

“‘sup,” comes a voice along with a sling of arm around his shoulders, and he knows before he even glances to his side that it’s Jaebum.

 

“Morning,” he murmurs in reply, then checks his watch. “You’re early.”

 

“Yeah. I beat Nayeon out today,” Jaebum answers with a proud grin. There’s a basketball tucked under his other arm.

 

Jinyoung adjusts the strap of his back on his left shoulder, Jaebum’s arm remains unmoved as they walk together. His cardigan sleeve peeks out underneath his school issued jacket. “Speaking of Nayeon, is she okay? I actually haven’t seen her around lately.”

 

“Thought you guys see each other after school?”

 

Jinyoung shakes his head. “We haven’t met up since last week? I don’t know why but she’s been cancelling without really giving any reason. I thought she’s just busy, but then - you know how sometimes we run into each other around this time, right? - she stopped showing up as well.”

 

“Now that you mention it, she didn’t really look all that energetic this morning as well. I thought it’s just one of her days,” Jaebum recalls, tilting his head aside.

 

“She didn’t say anything to you?” Jinyoung asks.

 

Jaebum scoffs. “Nayeon doesn’t tell me shit. Don’t you know us well enough?”

 

“Maybe you should ask?” Jinyoung tells him. “I wonder if I did or said something.”

 

Jaebum retracts his arm and starts dribbling his ball. “Maybe you shouldn’t worry too much,” he murmurs back, shrugging. “By the way, hear this. Yesterday at practice, I don’t know what got into him but suddenly Jongin’s all hyped up to attempt shooting from midcourt.”

 

Smiling, Jinyoung listens to his friend’s story, but every now and then he keeps glancing back, wondering if that bright bunny smile that he’s grown accustomed to seeing almost every morning will appear.

 

 

 

 

The final bell goes off, and once their homeroom teacher leaves the class, everyone starts packing their things and Nayeon is sitting hunched down on her table when she feels someone kicking her chair.

 

“Yo, Im Nayeon,” Seungcheol calls. She doesn’t glance back, so he kicks her chair again until she does.

 

“What?” she hisses, glaring at him irritatedly while he only grins.

 

“You’re skipping again today?” he asks.

 

Instead of replying right away, she exhales a despondent sigh. “I think I stepped on kitten in my past life, or dropped a newborn. Or maybe I betrayed the nation. Is that enough sin to deserve this sad fate?”

 

He resists a temptation to roll his eyes for the sake of his friend. “I’m taking that as a yes.”

 

“Do you think I will be unhappy for the rest of my life? Use my spare time to feed pigeons at the park, the grow old as a cat lady as I watch my brother who spends this lifetime torturing me live his life happily? Do you think he will be punished in his next life in return? Will I be happy in my next life?” she goes on.

 

This time, it’s Seungcheol who sighs. “Okay, first of all, you need to stop being a drama queen,” he starts. “Second of all, I never I’d say this ever but at this point I’d rather see your dumb lovestruck face as you babble on nonstop about Jinyoung.”

 

She frowns at him. “I’m not sure if I should be touched.”

 

“I don’t even understand why you’re so heartbroken in the first place. It’s not you didn’t know that he likes your brother’s girlfriend.”

 

“Don’t say that out loud!” she hisses, slapping his arm, then resumes her forlorn face. “I know that, but all this while I pretended not to know and hoped over time it would fade. But that doesn’t seem to be happening. And what’s worse is I can’t even bring myself to hate Suji unni. Not when she’s that nice to me.”

 

Nayeon can feel her friend’s eyes on her as she exhales another sigh. She knows what he said is right, and that she’s being a little overdramatic. It’s not like this is a new knowledge to her. But the more time she spends with Jinyoung, the more apparent the gap between them is to her. Even when he’s right in front of her, it feels like they are a million light years apart.

 

Seungcheol sighs as well and gives her shoulder a pat. “Should I buy you an ice-cream? Or is _ddeokbokki_ more your thing? Please notice that that means I’m skipping today’s practice which equals to risking getting murdered by your brother when I see him tomorrow. Does that knowledge at least cheer you up?”

 

She raises her eyes at him and manages a small smile. “That knowledge does make me feel better, but I think my life would be a little boring without you, so if my brother ever threatens to murder you, he needs to face me first. Though I’m not sure if he would think twice about it.”

 

The corners of his eyes crinkle as he laughs. “That’s the Im Nayeon I know.”

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung is halfway through cleaning the blackboard when he notices Suji standing by the door, one leg crossed over the other as she leans sideways on the frame. “Hello there.” She waves with a smile gracing her lips.

 

“You just missed Jaebum,” is his response, alternating between resuming his duty and glancing at him.

 

“I came to see my best friend,” she retorts, scowling a little. She enters his classroom and takes a seat at one of the desks in the front row which belongs to Wonpil. “Have you seen my best friend around? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

 

“He told me he went on a break because his best friend gave him headaches,” he answers. The corners of his lips curl while she scoffs. “Any message for him?’

 

“Tell him that he’s going to get it when he returns for going on a break alone. And that his best friend misses him a lot.”

 

Jinyoung’s hand freezes for a moment, but he quickly finishes his task and sets the duster down before turning to face her while standing behind the teacher’s desk. “Something wrong?”

 

She frowns. “Must something be wrong for you to spend time with me?”

 

“I’m going on another break.”

 

“Don’t be so sensitive!” Suji protests, and he laughs, eyes all crinkled. Her smile returns instantly. “Honestly, I feel like I haven’t heard your laugh since forever.” She leans forward, elbow perched on the desk and chin cupped in her palm. “Did Jaebum tell you not to hang out with me? I know he can be so childish but is he really that petty? I’m going to add salt into his energy drink.”

 

“He didn’t. Don’t victimize an innocent citizen,” he says, chuckling at her suggestion.

 

“Then? Were you mad at me about something? Why you always refused to eat my packed lunch?”

 

“That’s because your cooking is barely edible.”

 

“I cook alright, okay. Is it because of that burned sweet potato incident? Oh my god, Park Jinyoung, that was one time and I was 12! I can’t believe you are so much more petty than Jaebum. No wonder you guys are friends.” She crosses her arms and rolls her eyes dramatically.

 

“I only said one thing and you derived your own conclusion.” He laughs again. It fades quickly, and he walks over to sit next to her. “I was just… kind of busy.”

 

Suji raises her brows. “With Nayeon?”

 

“That’s one.” He nods slightly.

 

Her face suddenly brightens up. “Is it going well?”

 

“Yeah. She learns fast.”

 

“That’s not what I mean,” she says. “Is it going well between you two?”

 

Jinyoung’s forehead forms creases. “Suji, it’s Nayeon.”

 

“Of course it’s Nayeon. Otherwise I wouldn’t bring this up.” She looks at him as though he just said something that doesn’t make sense when she’s the one who isn’t making any sense right now.

 

“She’s like my own sister.”

 

Suji sighs, clicks her tongue in frustration repeatedly and murmurs something under her breath that sounds like “Park Jinyoung, how dense can you be?” He pretends not to hear and gets up.

 

“I’m going home,” he announces.

 

She follows him and they fall into steps together. “Let’s go to that hotteok cart we used to go to all the time. Tell my best friend he’s paying.”

 

Jinyoung looks at her with a scowl and tries not to think much about how their legs synchronize and their shoulders brushing each other every now and then. “He said he’s never returning from his vacation,” says him. She gives his shoulder a good shove, and then they laugh.

 

 

 

 

“No wonder you’re missing from practice.”

 

They look up only to find a scary looking Jaebum who stands over by their table, arms crossed across his chest . “Shit,” murmurs Seungcheol under his breath after gulping down his strawberry smoothie that doesn’t feel like strawberry anymore. “I can explain,” he begs, and glances at Nayeon. “Wait, _she_ can explain.”

 

Meanwhile, she raises both her hands in surrender. “It’s not my fault! I told him to go to practice but he insisted on coming here,” she settles instead.

 

Seungcheol looks at her like he’s never been more betrayed. But before he can even say anything, Jaebum’s already prodding Nayeon’s head with his finger on her temple. “Do you think I would buy that?” he says while stealing a sip of her mango smoothie.

 

She scowls at her brother, then glances at her friend. “Survival instinct,” she tells Seungcheol, who’s shooting her a nasty look. She returns her gaze at Jaebum. “But why are you here?”

 

“Jongin’s buying me coffee since he lost our bet earlier,” he answers, at the same time pointing towards the counter with his thumb.

 

“Oh,” she says when she locates Jongin there, her smile falters slightly around the edges. She doesn’t notice that Jaebum’s staring at her until she lifts her gaze again. “What?” she asks.

 

He shakes his head. “Nothing.” But the look in her eyes seems like he wants to say something. He doesn’t, and that moment vanishes when Jongin joins them.

 

“Hello Nayeonie,” he greets brightly as he stands next to Jaebum.

 

“Hi hyung,” Seungcheol greets back instead of Nayeon.

 

“Wasn’t talking to you,” Jongin replies curtly in a different tone, and Seungcheol feigns an offended look.

 

Nayeon chuckles at the two of them, while Jaebum grabs the iced americano his friend is holding and uses the other free hand to push him away by the shoulder. “Okay, okay, let’s go.”

 

Jongin mumbles something in protest but he’s already being forced to make his move. “Bye Nayeonie. See you when your brother’s not around,” he manages to tell her while glancing back.

 

“Am I invisible?” Seungcheol interrupts again.

 

“You’re insignificant!” the older boy shouts back.

 

They’re gone quickly, and the quietness that suddenly settles in feels strange. Nayeon’s still looking at the door when she realizes Seungcheol is giving her a look. “What?” she asks the same question for the second time.

 

He perches an elbow on the table and rest his chin in his hand. “Just wondering if that’s disappointment or relief I saw.”

 

She doesn’t reply to that.

 

 

 

 

It’s not even 10, but she’s already lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about everything and nothing though she’s still wide awake. Then the door creaks open and her brother peers in. “What?” she asks, getting up.

 

“Thought you’re already asleep,” Jaebum says, pushing the door more and allowing himself in without her invitation.

 

“Do you need something from me?” Nayeon asks suspiciously, wondering what he is doing in her room when he rarely acknowledges her existence at home unless when he needs something.

 

He’s quiet for a moment, which is so unlike him. It confuses her, especially since she can’t see his face in the dark. “Uh, Jinyoung wants to know why you’ve been cancelling your study sessions recently,” he says after a while.

 

“Is that all?”

 

“Why do you ask?” he shoots back.

 

She shrugs, though she doesn’t think he can see it. “I mean, you could’ve asked me some other time.”

 

“Well, I forgot to ask earlier and thought I might forget again tomorrow.” From the light behind him, she sees the silhouette of his hand moving up as he scratches the back of his neck. “Anyways, he wonders if he did or said something that offended you.”

 

“No he didn’t,” she answers immediately. “It’s just that I… had something to do.”

 

His face is completely hidden, but somehow she can feel his eyes scrutinizing her. He sits on her bed. “Is that really the truth?”

 

She purses her lips, not knowing how to answer him this time. In the end she settles with: “Why do you ask?”

 

“You never waste a second when it comes to Jinyoung.”

 

It is the truth. She would drop anything if she hears a mention of Jinyoung’s name. It’s the truth everyone knows. Everyone except Jinyoung himself. “It’s nothing,” she tells her brother.

 

Jaebum falls silent again and continues studying her in the dark. For once, she’s glad she decided to turn off the lights and go to bed earlier tonight. A minute passes, and finally he gets to his feet again. “Alright then,” he says. He heads off and closes the door behind him without another glance back.

 

Nayeon stares at the closed door long after he’s gone, then pulls her blanket over head and forces herself to fall asleep.

 

 

 

 

“Mornin’.”

 

Jinyoung’s face breaks into a smile the soon he sees his friend standing right outside his apartment building’s entrance. “You’re early again.”

 

“I beat Nayeon again.” Jaebum nods, using the same smug tone, except his smirk is missing today.

 

“Oh right, did you talk to her?” the former asks as they both begin their lazy stroll.

 

“Yeah, I did. She said it’s nothing. She had something to do. Dunno what that is, she didn’t say. I don’t think you should worry,” Jaebum tells him.

 

Jinyoung raises his brows. “You sure?”

 

“Yeah. Girls are weird. Nayeon is even weirder, trust me. One time she just started crying when I used a newspaper that has some actor’s face on it to kill a bug.”

 

They both laugh, but Jinyoung notices that Jaebum has that distant look in his eyes, and they are not smiling along. Jinyoung says nothing.

 

 

 

 

On normal days, Nayeon would be more than elated at the sight of her prince charming waiting for her outside her class, just like a scene from a drama. Today is not one of those days, unfortunately, and finding Jinyoung smiling right at her only adds more sadness in her heart.

 

“What are you doing here?” she manages to ask calmly.

 

“Just looking for a friend to eat lunch with,” he answers with a shrug, the same sentence he’s used before.

 

“Where’s Jaebum-oppa?”

 

“No idea. Probably with Suji.”

 

Nayeon flinches a bit at the sound of the name, and promptly wonders how Jinyoung bears it everyday. She sighs, then nods. “Okay.”

 

His face breaks into a relieved smile, and it both warms and pains her at the same time. She’s always liked the crinkles around his eyes when he smiles. “So, um,” he begins a little awkwardly after clearing his throat as they start making their way to the cafeteria. “Are you alright?”

 

“Why did you ask?”

 

He shrugs again. “Well, you’ve been cancelling our study sessions and I haven’t seen you around in the mornings either.”

 

She raises her brows in surprise. “You noticed?”

 

“Of course.” He nods like it’s a given. Does he also know that she goes there on purpose and only pretends to match his timing? “Did I offend you in any way?” he then asks.

 

“No, what made you think that?”

 

“Well, it did feel like you’ve been avoiding me,” he answers, again to her surprise. He’s not wrong this time, but she isn’t going to tell him that. Biting her lower lip, she casts her gaze low to the ground. “Did I really?”

 

“It’s not that, no,” she says, shaking her head before returning her gaze to him. He doesn’t seem to be buying it, so she attempts a smile. “I’ve been preoccupied by something else, and I haven’t been feeling too well. Lately I spent most of my times alone. Even my friends complained, so it’s not just you.”

 

“Are you feeling better now?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Pausing, Jinyoung stares at her long and hard, as though he’s studying her. She keeps her smile. After a while, he sighs and returns it. “Alright. I believe you,” he says, though it doesn’t sound like it at all. Nayeon tries not to be bothered by it. “But we’re meeting today, okay? No more skipping.”

 

She smiles again, wider, more genuine this time, exhales, and tries to get over her insecurities.

 

 

 

 

The cold water that hits her face cools her down and washes away her fatigue instantly. Noise coming from her classmates at the field can be heard all the way to where she is. Nayeon washes her face several times more before turning off the tap, and just as she is about to reach for her towel, someone is already handing it to her.

 

“Thank you.” She bows slightly before wiping her face dry. “What are you doing here?”

 

“Nothing. I was passing by and thought I saw some of your friends, so I looked for you,” Suji tells her, her peach coloured lips stretching into a smile. Unlike Nayeon who is wearing trainers for PE class, she’s in the school uniform.

 

“Where did you come from?”

 

“Ah, my homeroom teacher asked to run an errand. I should be on my way back to class already but I made a detour,” she explains with a grin. “Don’t tell on me.”

 

“To your teacher or my brother?”

 

Surprised by her response, Suji’s face lights up although she tries to look angry. “Did you learn this from Jaebum?”

 

Nayeon chuckles. “Don’t worry, I won’t.”

 

Suji’s smile returns quickly. “His teasing is the number one thing you shouldn’t learn from him, okay, Nayeonie? Plus you’re supposed to be on my side!” she reminds Nayeon.

 

From a distance, Nayeon hears a sound of her classmates cheering, probably over a goal someone scored. She played in the first half before Seunghee substituted her,  and that was when she came here to freshen up. She looks at Suji and wonders aloud. “What do you like about my brother?”

 

“Why are you curious about that?”

 

“Just because.” Nayeon shrugs.

 

The older girl chuckles, then falls silent for a while as she looks away, looking as though she’s deep in thought. “Jaebum… isn’t he just cool?”

 

Nayeon frowns. “Which part?”

 

Suji laughs again before she explains further. “I first met him when I went to Jinyoung’s class to borrow a book. It was English text book, I still remember. But he didn’t have it with him since they didn’t have English that day, so he asked his friend who happened to have it because he usually leaves his books in his desk. That friend was Jaebum,” she pauses, smiling as she reminisces her cherished memory. “You know, Jinyoung’s the type to keep his books clean, so you can hardly find any scribbles in his books. But Jaebum… his text book was full of them. They were all his game tactics and plans. _“Must work on passes - practice with Ilhoon. Jongin needs to work on rebounds. How to outrun Daeseong Team’s point guard?”_ Things like that. He’s not even the coach, but he thinks about his team that much.”

 

“Is that what’s cool about him?”

 

“The cool part is, although it sounds like he doesn’t pay attention in class, he actually ranks high. And you know that he doesn’t always study. He hangs out with his friends often. He always knows what’s on TV and even what’s trending on Naver. Made me wonder when does he have time to do everything.”

 

Nayeon doesn’t really get it, but as she stares at Suji, she recalls that look on her brother’s face when she asked him a similar question about Suji a while back. It’s something that connects the two of them, something that they share and no one else, not even she and Jinyoung can ever comprehend.

 

Suji suddenly snorts and starts covering her face. “Ah, I suddenly feel embarrassed about telling you this. I’ll head back to class now. See you around?”

 

“Sure.” The younger girl nods.

 

They wave at each other and Suji turns away to leave, but after several steps she glances back again. “Don’t tell Jaebum what I just told you, okay?” she half-yells, placing a finger over her lips. “You’re on my side, remember!”

 

Nayeon smiles and gives another nod as a reassurance. She watches Suji’s back until it completely disappears from her line of vision. The first time Suji introduced herself **,** Nayeon was taken aback by how light her personality is. Not that she imagined her to be stereotypically mean and overdramatic, but Suji is, in all honesty, everything an elder sister she never thought she needed. Nayeon warmed to her so immediately.

 

Repeating her words in her head over and over, Nayeon exhales heavily and thinks about Jinyoung.

 

 

 

 

What greets him when he opens the door to his room is the sight of Jaebum sprawled on his bed, beaming at him rather annoyingly complete with a victory sign.

 

“I’m banning you from my room,” he declares, dropping his bag on the floor and tossing his school issued jacket towards his friend. It lands perfectly on Jaebum’s face. “Was that a three pointer? Maybe you can consider recruiting me for the team.”

 

“Wouldn’t even call it a two pointer, in all honesty,” Jaebum retorts, pushing the jacket away. He sits up. “Ban me all you want. Your mum will let me in anyway. You know she wishes this handsome young man was her son instead.”

 

Jinyoung feigns a frown as he glances around his room. “Which handsome young man are you talking about? Where?” he asks, and shortly his jacket returns to him in the form of a fast ball.

 

“Baseball team should totally scout me,” Jaebum says in a smug tone, and Jinyoung just laughs in return.

 

“Can’t you at least shower before you come here? You’re spreading your bacteria all over my bed,” the latter protests.

 

“At least you can smell my scent when you sleep.”

 

Jinyoung crinkles his nose in disgust. “That’s really gross.” He plops down on the chair at his study desk but faces his friend. “Is seeing me at school everyday not enough that you make a point to come here so often? Do you like me that much?”

 

“Yeah, too much.” Jaebum grins while repositioning himself on the bed to rest his back against the wall. “That photo of you and Suji is gone,” he points out, looking at the bare spot where the photo used to be.

 

 _Oh_. Jinyoung stares at the wall. “I kept it elsewhere.” His answer.

 

“Man, I thought I’d steal it while you weren’t around,” Jaebum says but not without another grin.

 

“I told you before. You may outrun me but you can’t outsmart me,” says Jinyoung. Jaebum snorts and fishes his phone out of his pocket while the former gets up and heads to the door. “When I get out from shower I expect to see you gone.”

 

“Your mum told me to stay for dinner,” Jaebum replies without looking up.

 

“And leave your sister all alone at home? What kind of brother.”

 

“It’s not like me being home would make any difference to her. Plus our mum’s coming home late today so if I go back now weirdly she would feel the need to cook dinner for us, and trust me even Nayeon would rather order in _jjajangmyun_ than eat her own cooking.”

 

“What kind of brother,” Jinyoung repeats, and Jaebum throws a pillow at him laughing.

 

“Go shower!” the latter howls.

 

“Go home!” the other shouts back. Jaebum throws another pillow but he manages to close the door before it hits him. When he returns to his room 10 minutes later, clean and fresh again, his pillows are still on the floor but Jaebum is already gone. He plops down on his bed without picking them up, stares at his empty wall, and wonders what was on Jaebum’s mind when he laid down here by himself.

 

 

 

 

“You just need to remember that when you move the numbers and symbols to the other side they become the complete opposite. Like for this, multiply becomes division, a square root becomes square. Remember the pairs. And don’t forget to convert the positive to negative, especially the first number in equations like this. Most people lose marks because they miss it.”

 

Nayeon nods, but the creases on her forehead are apparent as she runs her eyes over the solution Jinyoung demonstrated for the sixth time. It sounds easier when he explains it than when she tries to solve an equation herself. On top of that, Jinyoung being right here with her is still a distraction, despite the fact that it’s him who’s tutoring her.

 

“Is it still confusing?” he asks with a sugar syrup voice. Unfortunately, she’s not in a situation to admire this.

 

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes. “It’s not your explanation is bad. I do understand what I’m supposed to do but when I try to do it everything gets all jumbled up.”

 

“That’s understandable. I had a hard time too at first,” he reassures her. “Do you want to take a break for a while?”

 

“It’s alright. I want to go over this again. If you feel like going to the toilet or something, you can just go.”

 

“In that case, I’ll go buy us something to drink, okay?”

 

“Thank you.” Nayeon smiles gratefully at Jinyoung who is already getting up. He puts a hand on his back pocket, and all of a sudden his face changes as he picks his bag up and rummages through its content. “What’s wrong?”

 

He frowns, as though he’s trying to recall something. “Can’t find my wallet. I think I left it in class,” he answers, then looks at her. “I’ll make a quick dash to my class first.”

 

“Take your time,” she tells him, and he smiles and mumbles a barely audible “be right back” after setting his bag down on the empty chair again, before heading out.

 

The library is located in a building right next to the cafeteria, but the classrooms are in a different building further away. Not wanting to keep Nayeon waiting too long, Jinyoung half jogs his way there and climbs the staircase two steps at a time. It helps that there are hardly anyone left in the school compound. When he arrives, he is slightly panting, and also surprised finding Jaebum in his seat.

 

“Hey,” Jinyoung says, coming in. Jaebum doesn’t seem as surprised when he looks up. “What are you doing here?”

 

Jaebum is silent for a long time, which makes Jinyoung wonder if something is up. It’s only when he’s near enough that he realizes that Jaebum is holding his wallet. Jinyoung holds his breath. “I forgot we have a homework today, so I came back to grab my book. Then I saw your wallet in your desk, and I figured I’d keep it for you and text you later. But when I accidentally dropped it while taking it out, and something flew out.” Jaebum slowly flips the wallet open, revealing a photo of two kids at a beach. The same photo that used to be on Jinyoung’s bedroom wall. “You know I say it’s hard to not misunderstand you guys all the time as a joke, but this time, it’s really very hard. Can you explain this in a way that I won’t misunderstand? I’ll listen.”

 

This time it’s Jinyoung who remains quiet. He doesn’t have an explanation. As he stares at the photo in Jaebum’s hand, his mind simply goes blank. After Jaebum saw it in his room, somehow he felt a need to remove it from the wall. But of all places, why did he choose to keep the photo his wallet when he could have just put it back in the drawer?

 

The image of Jaebum in his room staring at the photo with the trace of longing in his eyes flashes into his mind. There are times when Jinyoung feels left out when Jaebum and Suji are talking about things he doesn’t know of or understand, but they would happily explain to him if he just asks. Unfortunately for Jaebum, memories are not something that can easily be shared, and he missed years worth of memories. It’s not only once or twice that Jinyoung noticed Jaebum’s hardened expression whenever he and Suji bring up old stories and jokes. He knows Jaebum tries hard not to feel upset, but they’re all human.

 

One, two minutes go by. In the end Jinyoung settles down in the seat on Jaebum’s right side, inhales deeply, and finally speaks. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

 

 

 

 

He’s been gone for almost half an hour.

 

Although Nayeon did tell him to take his time, she starts to get worried as more time passes. She resorts to sending him a text message, just in case something happens, but right after her text is delivered she hears the sound of a vibrating phone. It’s Jinyoung’s, on the table half buried under the sheets of paper he used to demonstrate equation solvings on. She pulls it out carefully and sees the “One text message received” notification on the screen.

 

Out of mere curiosity (and boredom), she drags a fingertip across the screen to unlock his phone, but what stands in her way is a set of keypad for password. Nayeon instinctively types in his birthdate, but that turns out to be wrong, which doesn’t actually surprise her.

 

She knows her attempt is supposed to end there and she should just go back to her book, but something in her pushes her to key in another set of birthdate. It’s the same password her brother uses for his phone.

 

It turns out to be the correct password. Again, Nayeon is not surprised.

 

 

 

 

They’re sitting in front of the TV again at the usual seats. This time, Nayeon is snacking on a bag of crackers with a book on her lap, but eyes on her phone while Jaebum is simply staring at the TV screen.

 

“Hey, Nayeon,” he murmurs in a voice so low it’s almost drowned by sounds from the TV.

 

“Hmm,” she replies distractedly, still focused on reading and replying her friends’ messages.

 

“You think…” he trails off, then falls quiet.

 

“I think what?” she asks, lifting her gaze to look at her brother. He’s still staring at the screen, but anyone can tell he’s not seeing anything. “What is it?” she asks again, feeling more concerned now.

 

It takes him a moment before he can finally fully form his question. “Do you think I’m a bad friend to Jinyoung?”

 

Nayeon’s heart sinks. Does he know? How did he find out? Does Jinyoung know as well? Then she recalls the earlier evening, how Jinyoung returned looking so ghastly pale and told her he needed to go so let’s call it a day. Did it happen then? She can’t predict how it must have gone, but looking at Jaebum now, it surely can’t be good.

 

She opens her mouth to say something, but what can she say? She can’t let Jaebum find out that she’s known all along.

 

Suddenly he turns to her. Nayeon expected his eyes to be red, but they’re not. They’re just empty. _You’re not_ , she wants to tell him. “Of course you are” is what she tells him instead. “He told me sometimes you’d copy his homework when you didn’t do yours. You always forget that he doesn’t like corn and buy him corn breads even though he told you he wanted cream breads. You only go home after he’s chased you out of his room for the tenth time. He also told me that once you left a stain on his favourite comic book because you were reading it while eating something. How’s that not a bad friend?”

 

Jaebum blinks and keeps blinking at his sister, and after a moment of silence, bursts out laughing. “Did Jinyoung tell you all of these?”

 

“How else would I know?”

 

“Wow that punk, he’s gonna get it from me when I see him tomorrow.”

 

He continues laughing until there are tears in his eyes, and Nayeon watches him, smiling. Jaebum may not be a great friend to Jinyoung or even a great brother to her, but she would take this kind of Jaebum any day rather than seeing him looking all lost as though the whole world has abandoned him.

 

 

 

 

Jinyoung wakes up to a cold room and a grand headache. Sunrays fill in the room through the space in between the curtains. He checks his phone for the current time. The brightness of the screen hurts his eyes at first, and he squints to see the numbers. _11.16_.

 

He exhales a sigh, stretches a little and finally gets up and out of the bed. Normally by this hour he’d hear sounds from television and noises from the kitchen as his mother made early preparations for lunch, but instead of those, he hears familiar female voices, one his mother’s. Frowning, Jinyoung wonders if his mind is playing tricks on him because that voice certainly belongs to—

 

“Suji?” he blurts out, eyes widened seeing the guest as soon as he opens the bedroom door.

 

She’s sitting at the dining table with his mother helping the latter prepping a bunch of anchovies with a huge bowl in between them that is not even half full yet and a plastic bag filled with the anchovies. Hearing his voice, both of them turn their heads to his direction and smile at almost the same time. He blinks at the two of them, an image he can’t quite register into his mind.

 

“Hello stranger,” says Suji nonchalantly, raising one hand for a curt wave. “You woke up quite late today. Isn’t this rare?”

 

“Yeah,” he mumbles in reply while rubbing the back of his neck thoughtlessly. “Couldn’t fall asleep last night.”

 

“Hmmm.” She nods, but smiles as though she’s thinking of something else. Jinyoung has always liked Suji’s smiles — probably his most favourite thing about her — but this smile, in addition to the tone of her voice, makes him feel somewhat uncomfortable.

 

“Suji’s waited for you for two hours,” his mother informs him before she starts clearing the table up. “This is enough, dear. Thanks a lot for helping me, unlike that son of mine over there,” she says to Suji, both chuckling, and takes the bag and bowl with her to the kitchen.

 

Suji and Jinyoung turn to each other almost at the same time. The former, now with nothing to do to keep her hands busy, suddenly looks lost. “What are you doing here?” the latter questions, just as awkward now. He paces forward towards the table and stands by the chair in the opposite of Suji without sitting.

 

“I used to come here all the time, remember? Uninvited, most of the times, but your mother always insisted that I stay for lunch or dinner. Sometimes both.”

 

“You’d stay for so long that sometimes your mother called and asked me to return her daughter to you,” he adds, smiling along to the memory while Suji just laughs. “The funny thing was she never even asked if you were here. She knew you’d be here.”

 

Their laughs stretch for a couple more minutes, and once they’ve grown quiet she looks away thoughtfully. “And then I just stopped coming.”

 

“Isn’t that natural?” Jinyoung smiles bitterly. “We grew up. Things changed.”

 

“I know, but I think at least I should have dropped by every now and then,” she says, looking regretful.

 

Those days feel like a lifetime away all of a sudden. Suji used to live in the same apartment building before her family moved to a bigger house. Even so, that didn’t stop her from coming over and showing up anytime she liked. Then it all just stopped, although their friendship didn’t change. They didn’t exactly grow apart, yet somehow it felt like there was another universe between them. Why did Jinyoung fail to realize this much earlier? If he did, would he have done something about it? If he did, how much things would have changed?

 

Where would he, Suji and Jaebum stand now?

 

Jinyoung sighs, realizing that it’s stupid, and pushes the thought away. Suji, still looking at him, then says, “Hey,” as though she knows what goes in his head. “Let’s go for a walk.”

 

 

 

 

Walking like this with Suji takes him back to the past. Suddenly, the trees lining up the street look to him like they’re in full bloom and it feels like they’re wearing they elementary school’s hats.

 

His father’s job took the family to a new town, so Jinyoung was forced to bid farewell familiar faces and habits and say hello to curious stares and a foreign neighbourhood at the age of 10. At that age, you don’t open up to new people that easily anymore, especially when you are Jinyoung.

 

With her nonchalance and easy-going attitude, it was Suji who pierced through his walls. She made sure that he was included in any activities she was a part of as well, and went out of her way to wait for him so they could walk to and from school together after finding out that they lived in the same apartment complex. They naturally grew close from all the time they spent together, and eventually they became inseparable, even after Jinyoung gained other friends aside from her.

 

“Walking like this makes me feel like if go to our old school now, Ms Kwon would be right there waiting at the gate like she usually would,” Suji muses, which makes Jinyoung smile because apparently he’s not the only one who’s thinking about the past.

 

A gentle wind blows and catches her long hair. Jinyoung watches it flutter in the air. The summer when they were 12, Suji suddenly decided to chop off her hair. It wasn’t even that short, just below her shoulders, but he was so upset that he didn’t speak to her for some time. He’s always loved her long hair. After that incident, she always keep it at this length.

 

Thinking back, there must have been other times when she wanted to cut it off again, but she never did. Is this her being considerate of him? Why should his personal preference matter to her?

 

“Jaebum told me everything,” she confesses out of the blue. Her expression remains calm. She’s smiling even at him when his footsteps halt and their eyes meet.

 

“I… Suji—”

 

“Jinyoung.” She turns to face him properly. “You are an important person to me. You’re the person I trust the most in the world. I treasure you a lot, and honestly, I can’t imagine a life where you’re not my friend,” she says. “But Jaebum is important to me too, you know that right? And I don’t think I’d be wrong to say that he’s important to you too.”

 

Jinyoung keeps his lips pressed together, then looks away, eyes now trained on the dirt path, on his shoes that need a little cleaning. “When we were kids, you’d wait for me the whole day so we could play together, but I was always reading. Even though I knew that you were waiting, I just kept on reading,” he recalls the memory with a small smile on his face, but there’s a hint of bitterness in his voice. He shoves his hands into the pockets of washed out jeans and returns his gaze at her while flashing a small, tight smile. “I wish I’d put down my books and played with you.”

 

Suji doesn’t say anything, but she’s looking at him with the saddest pair of eyes he’s ever seen her wear. It’s not a look of sympathy, though, just a kind of regret. He knows that much.

 

“All these years, I’ve always liked you.” He’s staring straight at her, gathering all the courage he never had. “I don’t know why was it so hard to tell you that back then. But now, I just want to you to know this; I’ve been in love with you for a long time. And that…. thank you. For being that person for me.”

The wind picks up again, gently, embracing them both. With both her hands, she takes his and holds it tight. “Thank you for liking me all these years,” she says with the prettiest smile gracing her face.

 

And he lets it all go.

 

 

 

 

He’s already there waiting for here when Nayeon arrives at the cafe. With a smile, Jinyoung raises a hand to catch her attention, but she spots him first before he does. As always.

 

“I’m really sorry. Did you wait long?” she asks, feeling bad about arriving later than the promised time.

 

“Nah, I just got here,” he says readily. She can’t tell whether it’s the truth or he’s just trying to make her feel better, but she’s simply happy about it. “What do you want to drink? I’ll get it for you.”

 

She stops him as he’s about to get to his feet. “No, no. I’ll get it myself.”

 

“Don’t worry, it’s on me. It’s a reward for you since you did well on your test yesterday,” he tells her, which causes her to blush a little. “Ah, you don’t like coffee, right? I think your brother mentioned that once.”

 

Nayeon crinkles her nose and shakes her head, at the same time touched that he remembers if Jaebum did mention it only once and too touched to question why she was even mentioned in their conversation. “I can’t get used to the bitter taste.”

 

“Maybe you’re still too young,” Jinyoung lets out a short laugh. “Is chocolate okay, then?”

 

She just nods instead of telling him she actually prefers fruit drinks, thankful enough to be blessed with this opportunity to spend time with Jinyoung like this, just the two of them outside their school and not for the purpose of studying. She had boasted about this to Seungcheol right upon receiving the text from Jinyoung, in all caps and every crying sticker she has. _god loves me_ , her final message said before Seungcheol simply replied with _k_.

 

Jinyoung returns to the table five minutes later carrying a tray that contains a tall cup of hot chocolate and a slice of strawberry shortcake, and Nayeon thinks this might just be the happiest day of her life.

 

“I’m the happiest girl in the world.” The words slip out of her lips before she can prevent them. Embarrassed, she gasps and immediately covers her mouth, but he’s laughing again.

 

“Dig in,” he says, handing her one of the forks but doesn’t pick the other up for himself.

 

“Have some as well,” she tells him.

 

“It’s alright. You eat.”

 

Frowning, she takes the other fork and hand it to him. “Let’s eat together. I’ll feel terrible if I eat this alone and you just watch.”

 

It takes him a moment before he cracks a smile. “Stubborn like your brother.”

 

“Please don’t insult me like that.” She scowls. It makes him laugh once more, which in turns makes her smile. He takes a bite, then another on her insistence, but when he sets down the fork she doesn’t push him any longer.

 

In between, he asks her if she’s keeping up well with other subjects, to which she replies with a heavy sigh. “Barely, I think. To be honest, I have no idea why we have to take 900 subjects at the same time, or why must we learn 900 subjects in the first place. I bet we’re not even going to use half of them later.”

 

He chuckles. “To be honest, I don’t know either. What are we supposed to do with all of this excessive knowledge?”

 

”Right?” she agrees, and continues talking about her hard time trying to stay awake in History.

 

Jinyoung listens patiently and waits until she’s finished to finally state his reason for inviting her out. The real reason. “Nayeon,” he begins carefully. “If I ask you to do something for me, would you do it?”

 

The tone of his voice changes, and so does the look in his eyes. Somehow, Nayeon can already imagine what’s coming, but she still wants to believe otherwise. “Sure,” she nods.

 

“I want you to stop liking me.”

 

All of a sudden, her world stops moving.

 

 

 

 

There’s a long, deafening silence in the moment that follows. She keeps her stare at his mug, the coffee that was piping hot earlier now no longer produces steam. Her hand that is still clutching the fork, lets go, and she retracts both her hands and they disappear under the table.

 

To say that she’s never thought this day would ever come would be a lie, because she did. She’s spent countless nights lying in her bed thinking about the things he’s done for her out of kindness, not affection. In other passing moments, like when she caught a trail of airplane in the sky while sitting in her classroom looking out the broad window, she’s wondered whether those affectionate gestures are only reserved for the girl he grew up with. Would it hurt less if she didn’t know from the very beginning?

 

“Stop liking me, Nayeon,” he echoes himself, as though the first time didn’t hurt enough.

 

Nayeon doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t meet his eyes either. She doesn’t know what to do or what to say.

 

“I’m sorry,” he adds. If his earlier tone was firm, now it’s gentler, a plead more than anything else.

 

Even so, she can’t help but ask: “Why?” She knows that he’s already aware of her feelings all these while, and though it hurt all the same when he chose to feign ignorance instead of acknowledging her, that was still better than being told to stop liking him.

 

Jinyoung doesn’t answer right away, and instead spends some time to mull over her question. It reminds her of her brother. She wonders if that’s a habit that Jaebum picks up from him. “I’m the one at fault. I led you on without having anything to offer to you. I guess I gave you hope when I shouldn’t, thinking it’s just crush that would go away over time,” says him. He pauses and looks down at his hands. “And I guess I liked being liked by someone.”

 

She smiles in spite of herself. Her heart has been shredded to pieces, but strangely she doesn’t blame him for that. Hasn’t she always known that he wouldn’t look her way no matter what she does?

 

For the longest moment, none of them says anything. The gaps left by the silence that they fell into is filled by the mellow music that the cafe plays in the background. She recognizes the song, something she heard Jaebum hummed to himself when they were doing dishes together once. Funny how it’s this memory that comes to her right now

 

It’s Jinyoung who breaks the silence. He leans forward, perching his elbows on the wooden surface of the table, and smiles his sad smile. “I guess kind words are not something that you’d want to hear right now, right?” he asks, and she shakes her head weakly. He exhales. “You know, sometimes when I look at you, I wonder if I’m looking at myself.” Another pause. “I’m sorry.”

 

And that’s when it bubbles over — that something, rising from her chest right to her eyes. It flows rapidly and continuously down her cheeks.

 

He almost reaches out to wipe them, but his hand freezes not even midway, and he looks away as Nayeon quietly weeps.

 

 

 

 

That night, Jinyoung returns to his bedroom after taking a shower only to discover an unexpected guest sitting at his study desk. His mother didn’t mention anything when he saw her while dropping by the kitchen for water on his way from the bathroom just now.

 

“Jaebum.”

 

The latter glances up at the sound of his name. He manages a small smile as he raises two fingers to the corner of his brow. “Yo.” It sounds both familiar and strange at once.

 

Jinyoung takes a quick look at the clock sitting on the desk. It’s a little past 9. Jaebum never came by at this hour. “It’s quite late.”

 

“Yeah. Figured I’d better see you tonight rather than wait until tomorrow,” replies Jaebum.

 

“Oh.” The former nods, and starts drying his hair again with the towel he’s holding. His feet are glued at the door frame for a moment before he finally makes a move towards his bed. He sits, lets the towel drop to his shoulder although water droplets from his hair are still dripping down the back of his neck and onto the sheet. “I met Nayeon today.”

 

“Yeah, I kinda figured.” Jaebum tilts his head aside. “She was all smiles when she was leaving, but after she came home, they were gone. She locked herself in her room for a while,gave me angry looks during dinner, but then I saw her swollen eyes,” he explains.

 

 _Ah_. Jinyoung flicks his eyes at his empty wall briefly, and when he returns his gaze at Jaebum, he’s looking at the same place. Jinyoung can’t tell if he’s thinking about Suji or his sister. It might be something totally different. In class, he always catches Jaebum staring off blankly, his mind floating away elsewhere. Sometimes Jinyoung would ask what he was thinking about, but always Jaebum said it was just a bad habit.

 

“I was angry at you for not telling me about your feelings towards Suji,” Jaebum begins. His fingers are interlinked, palms facing up on the chair he’s sitting on in between his thighs. His shoulders are sloped way more than usual, like he’s tired, or sad, or a bit of both. “Or so I thought. Then I realized I was angry at myself for not noticing the way your eyes grow soft when you look at her. I mean, the more I think about it, the more obvious it is.”

 

Jinyoung shakes his head. “It’s not your—”

 

“It’s my fault. You’re not a straightforward person, but you’re always thoughtful of others. You would rather endure your pain and came to school during exam last semester when you fell sick than request for a replacement test so the teacher didn’t need to do extra work because of you. You come watch my games when I invite you even though you hardly understand the rules and spend most of the time reading a book instead, don’t think I never noticed, when you could just turn me down. You never got mad at me for staining your favourite manga. You let Nayeon like you all these years because you didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

 

“In the end I still did hurt her feelings.”

 

Their eyes connect. “And you let me have Suji even though you’ve loved her all these years,” Jaebum finishes.

 

“The one she loves isn’t me, so it doesn’t matter,” Jinyoung offers.

 

“It matters, Jinyoung. Your thoughtfulness is one of the good things about you, but the bad thing is you tend to forget that how you feel is important too. No matter how long, how well I know you, there are still things about you that I would never know unless you tell me.”

 

They grow quiet after that. Jinyoung’s hair still hasn’t dried, but the water droplets have stopped dripping down. He weighs the possibility of catching a cold if he sleeps without drying it properly. Maybe he can skip school tomorrow, and prove to Jaebum that he may not be as responsible as he thinks after all. That’s when Jaebum stands up and interrupts his train of thoughts.

 

“It’s getting late,” Jaebum says. “I’ll see you at school.”

 

Wordlessly, Jinyoung blinks, stares at his fingertips that were all shriveled up just now, not knowing what he should do. Right now, tomorrow, in the coming days.

 

Standing at the doorframe, Jaebum gives him the answer. “Thank you.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Everything, I guess,” he shrugs in reply. “For making up for the things I lack.”

 

He’s smiling at Jinyoung, and after a moment, Jinyoung smiles back.

 

 

 

 

Nayeon is almost dozing off when she hears someone tapping on her desk. She glances up and sees Jisoo. “What is it?”

 

“Someone’s calling for you,” he says, pointing at the direction of the door.  

 

Following his gaze, she finds Suji standing just outside the door. Suji gives her a small wave and a smile when their eyes meet. Immediately, Nayeon gets to her feet and rushes to the older girl. “I didn’t forget my lunch money this morning,” she frowns. They stand outside the classroom, slightly away from the door to not interrupt the others and to keep their conversation beyond earshot. “Did my brother send you on another errand?”

 

Suji shakes her head. “No, I just came to see you.”

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

She seems hesitant to begin, which raises more questions for Nayeon, wondering if something bad did happen. She bites her lower lip while slipping a strand of hair behind her ear, at the same time tapping on the floor with the tip of her right shoe. In spite of her curiosity, a tiny smile graces Nayeon’s lips. Even while looking this anxious, Suji looks pretty. _It’s no wonder_.

 

She takes a deep breath and stands straight before she opens her mouth. “I don’t know how to say this actually, but I have to talk to you about something. It’s about Jinyoung.”

 

 _Ah_. Nayeon keeps her smile.

 

“I feel ashamed to see you right now because I feel like I took away something valuable from you. I mean, I promised to help, didn’t I? Yet this happened and I didn’t know if I could face you.”

 

“Unni.”

 

“... I was really worried, thinking what if you actually hate me—”

 

“Suji unni.” Nayeon lightly grabs Suji’s hand to catch her attention. She succeeds this time. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“What do you mean?” Suji asks in surprise. A line forms in between her brows. “Wait, do you actually know what I’m talking about?”

 

“Yes, I do know.” Nayeon nods without letting go of Suji’s hand and her smile fade.

 

“Honestly, I have known all along.”

 

“About Jinyoung?” Suji’s eyes grow wide. “How?”

 

“To tell you the truth, it’s hard not to notice the way he looks at you, but then again that’s probably because I was always looking at him.”

 

“And you’re not mad?”

 

“Why should I be mad?” she chuckles, but confused, Suji doesn’t respond well to it. She goes on. “Of course, I was upset, and definitely sad, but I’m not angry. There’s no reason to be angry. It’s not like we can control people’s feelings, right? We can hardly control our own.”

 

For the longest time after that, Suji stares at her with her lips pursed. Nayeon thinks Suji probably doesn’t believe her. But that’s not the case.

 

“Park Jinyoung is one stupid boy,” she says, sighing. This time, it’s Nayeon’s who’s surprised. “A girl like you has been standing right in front of him all this time, and he turned away.”

 

The tiniest of smile appears on her face, uncertain, but when Nayeon flashes an easy grin, the corners of Suji’s lips curl wider into a fully formed one.

 

“Is it alright to give you a hug?” she asks sappily, like a child who isn’t sure if their mother still loves them after being scolded. Nayeon chuckles again and spreads her arms wide in response, so Suji instantly does the same and wraps her own arms around Nayeon.

 

“You two sure look friendly,” Seungcheol remarks later once Nayeon is back at her seat and back to slouching on her table. When she ignores him, he starts kicking her chair as revenge.

 

“I don’t hate her,” she retorts, hoping he would stop there.

 

He doesn’t. “How was your date?” he continues. She ignores him again so he starts kicking her chair again.

 

“Stop bothering me!” she snaps at him, annoyed, but his grin stays.

 

“Then stop ignoring me and answer my question! Why? Did you get dumped by your beloved Park Jinyoung at last?”

 

Without saying anything, she stares at him for a while before going back to resting her head on her table defeatedly. Seungcheol doesn’t say anything either, probably confused.

 

“Oh my god, did he really?” asks him further. At least he sounds genuinely shocked, though she can’t see his face to confirm that. “I’m so— I really didn’t mean to make fun of you or something! I’m really sorry. Shit. Are you okay? Ah, you can’t be okay, right? I— man, how are you feeling?”

 

He’s left his seat and is now crouched down by her chair facing her, looking extremely sorry and concerned. Nayeon exhales a heavy sigh. “Not that great.”

 

“Do you need some time to wallow in despair?”

 

She nods.

 

“Do you want me to spread wild rumours about him as revenge?”

 

“Seungcheol.”

 

“Fine. Then do you want me to go to the cafeteria later and buy your lunch for you?”

 

“One curry bread and also sausage bun, please.”

 

“Milk and vanilla ice cream?” She smiles. “Is there anything else that I can do to make you feel better?”

 

"I’d like it if you stop talking about him for now,” she says.

 

Seungcheol looks at her with sympathetic eyes, then presses his lips together into a tight smile as he pats her shoulder. “Okay, I can do that.”

 

 

 

 

As soon as the bell rings, Jinyoung’s homeroom teacher calls his name. He stands for the greeting, but she tells him to skip it and asks him to go to the office with her instead to get a form that the students need to fill in. He goes over and follows her out.

 

“Have you started preparing for _sooneung_ yet? It’s less than a year away now,” Mrs Ahn probes on their way to the office. Her tone is light, as though she’s only asking out of curiosity rather than putting pressure on him.

 

He shakes his head in response. “Not really. I’m just studying as usual.”

 

“What about Jaebum? You two are close, right? Are you guys thinking of going to the same university?”

 

“We haven’t really talked about it. Honestly, I’m not sure what’s he planning to study,” he confesses.

 

“Isn’t he good at basketball? If he continues to play well, who knows he might actually get scouted and score a scholarship. Then he can decide what he wants to do.”

 

“If that really happens than that would be nice,” he replies. They reach the office just in time and head straight to her desk.

 

She hands him a stack of paper, the form that he needs to give out to his classmates, and reminds him when to collect them back. Afterwards, she looks at him again and beams. “You should work hard as well so you don’t lose out to your friend. It would be nicer if both of you get a scholarship and go to the same university,” says her.

 

“Thanks,” Jinyoung returns with a smile, not knowing what else to say.

 

Mrs Ahn’s words reverberate in his mind as he walks back to his class, and he wonders if he can speak to Jaebum about this soon, realizing that he doesn’t have an idea about his friend’s future plan.

 

Jinyoung expects the classroom to be vacant when he gets back with everyone at the cafeteria or somewhere outside. When he finally does reach his class, however, he finds only two persons there, and one of them notices him right away.

 

“Hey.” It’s Jaebum.

 

Suji quickly turns around breaks into a smile upon seeing him. “We’ve been waiting for you!” she tells him while waving for him to come over, but he stays frozen at the door, so she gets up, rushes to him and pulls him over towards Jaebum and forces him down onto the seat she was sitting at earlier, right across Jaebum. “I made enough food for the three of us, so you can’t turn me down this time!”

 

She’s pulled out another chair and sits on their side, then picks up a pair of chopsticks and pushes them into Jinyoung’s grasp. Jinyoung looks at her, then at Jaebum. Their eyes connect when Jaebum is picking another pair of chopsticks. Jinyoung opens his mouth. “Are you—”

 

“Suji made your favourite sausage kimbab,” the latter cuts him off, pointing at the kimbabs with the chopsticks. Their gaze meet again, and after a while, Jinyoung’s lips grows into a small smile.

 

“Thank you,” he murmurs softly, and both of his best friends return his smile warmly.

 

 

 

 

She finds him where she thought he’d be. Taking a deep breath, she makes her way slowly but surely towards him.

 

“Hi.”

 

Jinyoung seems surprised to see her when he looks up and sees her. Nayeon smiles at him, front teeth shown, hoping it appears natural enough. “Hey, you’re here?” He sounds unsure, as if he doubts what he sees. “I didn’t think you would come, actually.”

 

“Well, you’re here,” she says.

 

He tilts his head aside as he smiles sheepishly. The library is empty as usual, except today there are two other people sitting separately near the corner. “Have a seat.” He gestures at the one across of him, then closes the book he was reading.

 

“Actually, I didn’t come here to study,” she tells him. That causes his brows to furrow. She smiles again. “I was hoping that you could come with me.”

 

 

 

 

“What are we doing here, Nayeon?” Jinyoung’s face is contorted with confusion, but he still follows behind her obediently.

 

She’s brought him to a playground near their old middle school, slightly further away from their neighbourhood. Smiling at him, she’s not surprised that he doesn’t remember. She approached the swing set and sits on one of them. Jinyoung takes the other one.

 

“You know, I used to hate my front teeth so much,” Nayeon begins.

 

“Why?” He stares at her with the same look of confusion.

 

“Back then, a lot of kids at school made fun of me, especially at my new school. All because of my front teeth. I was the new kid with the weird teeth. Some called me a squirrel, some just straight up called me ugly. You know mean kids can be, intentionally or not. I would go home and cry everyday. I hated my teeth so much that I even asked my mum if there was any way to fix them. I think I wouldn’t even mind having them removed, but of course she wouldn’t let me. So there I was, hating every bit of my life, at that age.”

 

She lifts her eyes up at him after the pause, a softer smiler spread across her lips. His expression is unchanged. She goes on. “And then, one day, when I was sitting alone at a playground far enough from my house not to be seen by my brother, crying miserably because it was another day of teasing, someone came and offered me a strawberry milk, and sat next to me. He didn’t ask me why I was crying, but instead he asked if I wanted to hear a story. I nodded, so he told me a story. I don’t even remember what kind of story it was, but I remember that midway, I stopped crying and started laughing. While I laughed, he looked at me said something.

 

He said: ‘You look pretty when you smile, especially with your bunny teeth.’

 

I don’t know why those words affected me so much, but I didn’t hate my front teeth anymore since that day,” she continues. Finally, something sparks in Jinyoung’s eyes. “Some time later, my brother brought his friend home. I recognized him right way. He was the same person who cheered me up at the playground.”

 

“That person was me,” he finishes.

 

“That person was you.”

 

The corners of her lips falter, and something else builds up inside of her. Nayeon doesn’t know what it is, so she presses her lips, together just in case it spills out, and looks away.

 

Meanwhile, Jinyoung has his gaze fixed on his hands. For a long time, he keeps silent,  opens and closes his mouth again and again. His furrowed eyebrows tell her that he’s trying to string words together. “Nayeon, I don’t...”

 

“I brought you here not to make you feel bad,” states her. She flashes another smile, gentler and more genuine this time. “I just want to remind you, ‘this is the kind of person you are’, in case you forgot.”

 

“Someone who doesn’t think about the cause of his careless action?”

 

“Someone who brought happiness to someone else’s life,” she corrects him. “Don’t sell yourself short. I’ve liked you all these years, what does that make me?”

 

Jinyoung finally looks at her and smiles bitterly. “Why are you so kind?”

 

“Maybe it’s because someone kinder touched my heart before.”

 

Something in his eyes changes, then he drops his gaze to the ground. Neither of them says another word, but instead lets the ghosts of their past selves comfort them in the form of the wind that embraces them.

 

 

 

 

“Do you know that you get a thousand times uglier when you cry?”

 

Jaebum is frowning when she looks up. Standing over inches away from her, he’s still wearing his practice outfit, and one sleeve of his school jacket peeks out from the bag he’s slung over his shoulder. “I’m not crying,” she scowls while brushing her tears away angrily.

 

To her surprise, Jaebum doesn’t come up with more snide remarks like he would usually do, but instead offers her an apple juice drink. She takes it without a word, and he goes to sit at where Jinyoung was previously.

 

“Why are you here?” Nayeon questions as he takes a long drag of his own apple juice.

 

“Was passing by the area,” he answers nonchalantly. It’s the worst lie she’s ever heard, but for once she doesn’t feel like refuting him today.

 

Silence enwraps them. Jaebum starts swinging away after a while, slowly, and Nayeon mirrors him. It’s not long until he begins to hum the same song she often hears him hum. A habit.

 

She glances at him. Immediately, he meets her gaze, and all of a sudden, she feels content.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He turned and glanced around repeatedly, trying to spot a specific girl dressed in a flowery sleeveless t-shirt and a pair of shorts amongst the throng of crowd at the beach. There were many other similar girls her age, but they were either a tad shorter, their hair a tad longer, or their t-shirt of different patterns. He kept going, craning his neck to find the right girl and almost opening his mouth to yell out her name, until someone bumped into his shoulder, and he dropped the pair of sandals that was hooked between his fingers.

 

“Whoops, I’m really sorry!” the girl — this girl who just bumped into him, exclaimed apologetically. She noticed the sandals, and immediately started bending down to pick them up.

 

At the same time, seeing what she was going to do, he waved his hands in a no to stop her, and started bending down himself to beat to it. Instead, they ended up bumping their heads this time.

 

She winced in pain, so he began to apologize. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!”

 

With her hands up on the top of her head to rub the painful spot, she had a glance at his panicking face, then chuckled. “It’s alright,” she told him, dropping her hands.

 

“Really?” he asked, not quite believing.

 

“Yeah,” she reassured him with a smile. “Are you okay? Where are you going?”

 

He nodded. “I’m fine. I’m actually looking for my sister. She ran off alone and now we can’t find her.”

 

“Oh, this?” The girl picked up the sandals finally and lifted it to their eye level. Again, he nodded. “I’m looking for my friend too. Do you want to look for them together?”

 

He couldn’t see the wrong in that. After all an extra pair of eyes could make the search faster, and he could help her as well. So he nodded for the third time. “Sure. Let’s go find your friend and my sister,” he announced, and they fell in steps together.

 

She asked him to describe his sister’s appearance, and after he did, she explained how her friend looked like as well. He realized that she sounded chatty and bright even in that situation, and somehow liked that about her. “Where are you from? Are you here for a vacation?” she questioned later.

 

He shook his head. “My house is just nearby. My parents take us here sometimes. You?”

 

“I’m from Seoul! I came here with my friend and his parents.”

 

“Oh? Where are your parents?”

 

“They are working.”

 

He didn’t know how to respond to that, so he kept quiet. They walked for quite a distance. It was when they were almost going turn back that he spotted the sight of an awfully familiar girl sitting on a white chair outside a convenience store with an unfamiliar boy.

 

“Nayeon!”

 

“Jinyoung!”

 

Both him and the girl yelled out at the same time, and later threw a quizzical look at each other. Before they could say anything, however, he heard his sister calling for him.

 

“Oppa!” she shouted while waving her tiny hand. The other hand was holding a banana milk, he noticed. He made his way towards his sister quickly, and the other girl trailed after him.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Is she your sister? I think she stepped on a shard of broken seashell. Her foot was bleeding so I brought her here to buy a bandage,” the other boy with her answered in her stead.

 

He glanced at the boy, then at his sister’s foot that was now plastered with a bandage. He glanced at him again and opened his mouth, but the girl who came with him beat him to it. “I was looking for you all over the place!”

 

“Sorry. I thought of going to look for you after I find this girl’s parents.”

 

The girl then looked at him. “Is she your sister?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

For a moment, she stared at the younger girl, and began to laugh. “Funny coincidence,” she remarked, before bending down to help put on the girl’s sandals on her feet. “Your brother was worried about you,” she said to her gently.

 

“Sorry…” the little girl murmured softly with a pout.

 

“It’s alright now,” he replied. He then pointed at the banana milk in her hand before gesturing at the other. “Did this oppa buy you this?” She nodded. “Did you thank him?” Another nod. He smiled, and glanced at the boy. “Thanks for your help.”

 

The boy only smiled, and his friend looked at him again after that. “I forgot to ask your name!”

 

He blinked at her, as though trying to register what she just said into his mind. “I’m Jaebum,” he answered at last. “And you?”

 

“I’m Suji,” she returned while flashing the widest grin, then slung an arm over the other boy’s shoulder. “This is my best friend Jinyoung.”

 

“Hello,” the two boys said to each other automatically with a slight nod.

 

“And what’s your name, dear?” Suji asked the younger girl, leaning down to match their heights.

 

She looked at her brother first, and when he smiled at her, she did the same to the older girl. “I’m Nayeon!” she answered cheerfully revealing a pair of bunny-like front teeth.

 

“How old are you, Nayeonie?”

 

“I’m six years old.”

 

“She’s four,” Jaebum corrected, causing her to scowl and Suji and Jinyoung to chuckle. “Let’s go back, Nayeon.”

 

“But my foot hurts…”

 

“Can you carry her?” Jinyoung asked.

 

Jaebum thought about it for a while, then crouched down in front of her with his back on her. “Get on,” he instructed. She only started to climb on his back after hesitating. He hoisted her up and got to his feet easily, and turned to the two friends. “Thanks for taking care of my sister,” he murmured to Jinyoung.

 

“It’s alright,” the latter smiled in return.

 

“Thanks for helping me look for Nayeon,” Jaebum said to Suji this time.

 

“Thanks to you, I found Jinyoung too!” she reminded him, grinning once more. He smiled bashfully, turned around and started to make his way back again. They were already almost 10 feet away when Suji remembered to shout at them. “Don’t forget to see us if you come to Seoul!”

 

Jaebum glanced back and flashed another smile, but it was Nayeon who shouted back. “We will!”

 

With that promise, the rest of them continued to wave their hands at one another while Jaebum carried his sister away until the pairs were out of each other’s sight, not knowing what was awaiting them in the future.

 

**Author's Note:**

> for this fic, kagamiwa wrote a lovely sequel [past lives](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11250045)


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